What If Asking For Help Is Strength with Keith Cole

He didn’t break in Vietnam. He broke years later in a quiet office, with stress piled so high that one more “push through it” simply wasn’t possible. We talk with Keith Cole, a Marine Corps Vietnam veteran who carried combat wounds, the trauma of notifying next of kin, and the weight of becoming a guardian for his younger siblings, then spent decades building a high-pressure career as a CPA. The result was a familiar modern story with uncommon honesty: burnout, sleepless nights, and a moment where alcohol looked like the only escape.

Keith shares what changed when he stopped treating surrender like a dirty word and started seeing it as a path back to life. We get into his faith-based recovery plan and the APRAISER practice he outlines in his book Burnout God’s Recovery Plan: action, prayer, reading scripture, inscribing gratitude journaling, seeing through visualization, exercise, and rest. It’s simple, disciplined, and grounded in the idea that healing isn’t fueled by sheer willpower alone.

We also talk about why community support matters, especially for trauma, chronic stress, and burnout recovery. Keith explains why “going it alone” isn’t strength, how he’s using the program in church groups, and how listeners can find his book and connect through recoverybyfaith.com. If you’ve been running on fumes, this conversation offers a steady next step. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway.

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SPEAKER_02 0:13

Well, hello, and welcome to the Healthy Living Podcast. I'm your host, Joe Grumbine, and today we've got a very special guest. His name is Keith Cole. And Keith is a veteran, uh, spent time in Vietnam and found himself years later burned out after high-pressure business life, and he shifted into a whole new pathway and involved surrender and faith. And you know what? I don't need to go too much deeper than that. I I love where we're going. Keith, welcome to the show. How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Well, Joe, thank you. I it's a real privilege for me to be with you and your audience today.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Well, I want to thank you for your service. I I have a special fondness in my heart for veterans, and I don't believe you all get nearly the recognition that you deserve.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Well, thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

So tell me about yourself. You know, I'd like to hear the story of how our guests kind of found their way to their path, and there's so many different ways and places that they come from that uh it's really kind of important for me to understand that.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Good. I pretty much my story starts out as a little kid, and my my goal in life growing up was to be a Methodist minister. And I used to play church and and preach to my imaginary congregation that would sit on the stairway really to the upstairs of my house. Wow. So sometimes I had to kind of call some of them out just for talking when I'm preaching. Get them straight, you know. Oh wow. But when I I was a senior in high school, and my dad, who was a railroader all of his life, he started, I think he was at 17 years old. And when he was 52, he had a stroke and he died. And I was a senior, and seeing my dad, knowing my dad as strong as he was, it couldn't have been his fault. And so I blame God for everything. Okay, I blamed him for not answering my prayer. I blamed him for my dad dying. And soon becoming a minister after I graduated from high school, I joined the Marine Corps.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Well, that's kind of a uh a dichotomy there.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

I I was pretty rebellious after my dad died. I was I had one thought and it's all about me.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Okay.

Vietnam Combat And Lingering Trauma

SPEAKER_00 3:11

So in the Marine Corps and went through boot camp and advanced infantry training, and then they said they were gonna make me a machine gunner because I was smarter than the rest. Oh, if I'm smarter, this Marine Corps is in big trouble. But then, of course, um at that time the Vietnam War is going on, so I went to Vietnam. And I was there six months, somewhat eventful, somewhat not. A little bit of combat, and the uh but after that six months, and then we were we got into some battles that I got wounded, and then a little bit after that I got wounded again, and then uh another month went by and I got wounded for the third time. Wow, and so then it was beyond being fixed up at at the field hospital or or on one of the ship hospitals. So I was menect home. I was in the hospital for several months, then I went back to when I'm back to active duty, went back what's called I and I duty, instructor and inspector. And that was uh for reserves. We weren't on a base, we had more like a compound, and we lived in a different part of the city, we'd commute to work, and but that was only on the weekends with the reserves. So probably our our main focus, the one that had the most impact, was that we notified next at Ken.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Ooh, that's a rough job.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

When the when the Marine was either wounded or killed in action, and then we served as the honor guard for the fall-on marines. Okay, and Joe, that was more difficult than the actual combat.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

I could only imagine.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

And so a lot of trauma stayed with me throughout that time. And then I'd been doing that for about a year, and I got a phone call from my brother that my mother was dying and probably wouldn't live through the night. Oh. So she she had cancer, wasn't expected to live very long, and but she had asked me earlier if I would be the guardian for my younger brother and sister if she would pass away before they graduated from from high school. So when they died, my sister was 13 and my brother was 11, and I was 23.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Oh boy.

Becoming A Guardian Under Pressure

SPEAKER_00 6:27

I wasn't much more a kid than they were. Right. Just a little different experience than them. Yeah, and so I applied to get out of the Marine Corps, and and the Marine Corps went along with that. I got out and I became their guardian. It wasn't a matter of raising my brother and sister. My mother already had a pretty good start on that, so that wasn't a concern, but I was their guardian, and I had no idea what I was doing.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

But uh sorry, your mom probably didn't either.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

So the uh next thing I was I had to get a job. I worked in a factory for a while, got fired from that, and then I got another job in a different factory, and I I got a little smarter then. I quit before they fired me.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Getting good at this game, yeah.

Burnout Peaks In A Quiet Office

Turning Pain Into A Short Book

SPEAKER_00 7:33

Uh but I started learning how to how to do income tax returns, and so I thought, well, I really like this. I I'm gonna go to college and become an accountant, which I did, but there I wasn't blessed with a huge bucket of money or anything. So I worked every day I was in college. Took a while to get through. Sometimes I worked part-time, sometimes full-time, and I became a CPA. Always had clients on on the side, regardless of what type of job I had, whatever I was working at. So I worked full-time, I had my own clients, and then eventually I just went full-time on my own and started learning again what you know more stress was like. I had nightmares from notifying next of Ken. I had a pile of stress from being a guardian from my business, then started really business to me at the time, it felt it just felt like a calling. As I'm doing people's income taxes, I'm helping them, helping them get out of issues, and and and to save money on their taxes. And so I was good at that, and I really enjoyed it. And then as but as time got on, it just became an awful lot of pressure as well. And and there was uh one night alone, I was alone in my office, and I reached for I had a bottle of scotch in my bottom left-hand desk door, and and my escape mis mechanism was to get that bottle out and and take a drink. And that's what I did this one particular night. And everything was coming to a head, I guess. Everything was just had piled up all these years in into what I guess you could call a breaking point for me. And so when I took the bottle out, I just drank from the bottle and then I put it back on my desk. And I reached for it again and and and I thought, no, I can't. And I remember I said something about I I just I can't I can't do this anymore. And I slammed the bottle down, if I remember right, and I I cried out to God to help me and to forgive me for all that I've done. Uh and and I spent a lot of time that rest of that night with pretty much my face on the floor praying. I I can tell you, Joe, it's a Marine doesn't like to admit being broken. Right that night, I broke. And normally, you know, surrender would be a a dirty word. Right. Something you don't think about surrendering. But I didn't surrender to an enemy. I surrendered to God. Wow. And and after that, I I started writing pretty much to myself. What in the world I had done these last 50 or so years that that just piled up all of a sudden, and you know, like kind of like an avalanche hit me. And and as I was writing that, I started to think, well, you know, I'm not the only Vietnam veteran here. In fact, I'm not the only combat veteran. And and I thought, well, wait a minute. My story doesn't, you don't have to be a combat veteran, you don't be any type of veteran. There's plenty of stress to go around in this world.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

There's plenty of shortage, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

There's a share for everybody. And and I just thought that perhaps my story would be useful if I spread it and and and see what could help others. So the so as I was what I actually did then with the book to turn it into a book, I I took my story, my memories, my pain, and my redemption, and I poured it into a fictional marine that I called Kevin Casey. So all the names in the book are fictitious. But uh the pain and and misery and and uh and the redemption are all mine.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Was there some significance to why you chose that name, or was it just the name out of a hat?

SPEAKER_00 14:09

Well, Kevin Kevin Casey is Casey. I'm Keith Cole.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Oh, got it. Okay, all right.

SPEAKER_00 14:18

Um it it it it just happens too that I didn't think about it at the time, but sometimes people call me Kevin. Oh just you know, accidentally or not knowing for sure, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Anyways, right?

The PRAISER 12-Week Framework

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Yeah. But the in in the last chapter of the book is um what I call a praiser, which is an acronym for an eight eight-step process. And so it's just I can just quickly say it's action prayer, read scripture, inscribing, which is writing in a gratitude journal, seeing, which is visualization, exercise is for E, and the R is rest. Okay, and so they're all each one of those items is grounded in scripture. So there's a Bible verse that goes with each one, and so after seven days, and then they move to the second week, which happens to be twelve weeks long, but the second week then the verses change. But every verse, every day is grounded in scripture. And a type of things like like action. So if you're in a high-powered position, uh whether you're self-employed, corporation, or whatever it might be, however, we're you know, we all have some sort of pressure on our jobs. But if if if you if you're like I was, it's that this is my job, this is my business, I'm gonna do it, you know, it's gonna be done my way. Right. And so it's it's it it's it's not just charge, it's charge and keep charging, keep going, you know. If I have to do it all night or so, what I'd do it, you know. Taxis, and if it went 10, 12, 16 hours, or even occasionally overnight, then that so be it. That's had to be done. And and that going on and moving with strength like that works until it doesn't. Right. And and and as it works, but that that type of go get 'em will not heal anything. And so the the discipline that it takes to go through the appraiser list and to do it every day for twelve weeks, it's a it's a simple process, but it also helps to bring discipline into a person's life. And so, like the very first step is action. And so instead of being do everything until you drop over, you with that action, when I make out my action list every day of what I'm going to accomplish in this very day, I do it with prayer and guidance from God. And I I I do it with that particular scripture scripture that is for that week. So, and that's how each one of the of the of the elements of that list work.

SPEAKER_02 18:20

That sounds powerful. So, kind of the idea of this is it's a program to help people heal themselves and kind of find their best them and live a better life.

Why Healing Should Not Be Solo

SPEAKER_00 18:37

That absolutely it makes a better life, uh in my opinion. And they not necessarily heal themselves, I think with with with burnout, extreme stress things, I think people shouldn't go it alone. I believe that they they they can and should reach out to somebody they trust. Whether it's a a friend, clergy, a therapist, someone in the medical field, what but or a small group. But I I think that going it alone probably is not the best way.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

I think you're right. I think a community is really important, and I I I think we're designed that way. I think you know, we were created from the very beginning, you know, God gave Adam a companion right off the big right off the bat. And we're we've always been we're not really solitary creatures by nature. I think I think we find that we're better when we have something, even just to bounce our thoughts and ideas off of, even if it's just to hear ourselves talk, you gotta say it to somebody for it to work better.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

I agree with you. So your your book, when when was it published?

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Book was last November.

SPEAKER_02 20:22

Oh, wow. So this is a fresh one. And uh long did it take you to to compile all your thoughts and and put it together. I know you know a lot of people, myself included, you know, we've got stories that could make a good book, but to go from that to you know, actually writing it down and getting it published is like you know, walking across a a cable bridge across a you know mile-wide canyon. We just don't do it.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

That's uh that that's that's funny because one of my older brothers asked me, said, and I told him I had written the book, and he says, You wrote you wrote a book? You know, you know English well enough you could write a book. And and I said, I said, my heart wrote the book, and then I left everything else up to the editors.

SPEAKER_02 21:18

There you go. There you go. I think that's what happens a lot of times, especially to the best writers out there. I hear this story all the time. We have you know a lot of authors that come on as guests, and a lot of them kind of talk about almost automatic writing, like they just have this thing, and all of a sudden they sit down and it just comes gushing out. Was that kind of like that for you?

SPEAKER_00 21:40

Parts parts of the time it did. Okay. So it's a it's a small book, it's less than a hundred pages, 90 some, I guess. Wow. And and then I also I published a workbook to go with it. So because the the size of the book is a nine by six, and so it's kind of hard to to use the workbook inside, you know, something like that. And I said, ah, that'll never do. So I also uh published a workbook, which is eight and a half by eleven. Got it. And and so it's really good to you know keep your record in there. But the it it it it took a year to do it. Okay. And so it was like usually most of it was was flowing. I throughout throughout the whole time after Vietnam, I I I talked some things, you know, there are some things I would talk about as far as is as combat. You know, you know everybody knows somebody that's been to combat but won't talk about it. You know, and uh which was certainly a big thing, I think, with the World War II vet.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

And and the so I thought, okay, if I talk, if I talk, if I get some of this stuff off my chest, maybe. Maybe that would help. And maybe it did, maybe it didn't, I don't know. I I I had a long period of of nightmares and and wasted nights wake waking up in the middle of the night and and things like that. And that that's kind of way when when the burnout, I think, was just a a total build-up of of everything. It it wasn't just one thing. It just because I was wounded in action didn't make me have burnout. But uh it was accumulation. Sure. You know, you came back from you came back from Vietnam by an airplane. You're in combat one day and you're on your way across the Pacific on the next one.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

So uh there's actually not much time for recovery from what you've been through.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Yeah, I don't think the military really is that concerned about that element of it. I mean, they they got a job to do, they get you in, they get you out, they get the next guy in to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

Yeah, that's right.

Bringing The Program To Groups

SPEAKER_02 24:39

So when when you're talking about talking and and and having an impact, have you done any you know public speaking on this or just talking to different people that you know?

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Or uh well, I have I have with my church. So uh the primary thing with church has been with the meditation group.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:04

And so we've been using the book in our meditation, and we're we're just about, I guess we're on the fifth week of the been through the book and on the fifth week of uh of the appraiser part of the work.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

Oh, nice. Nice. So it sounds to me that this book is certainly more about your program, the appraiser program than the stories that you're telling. It it seems to be a very purposeful book. How how is it doing? Are people are people finding it? Are people buying it? Well, it's I know it's pushed out, but still, I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

So you know, I haven't I haven't done uh a lot of advertising or anything like that. But the people hear about it and know about it, and so in church last Sunday, a lady came up to me, she says, Oh Keith, I I just read I gotta give you a hug. I just read your book. That's okay, right. What I'm also doing is I'm I'm reaching out to different churches, church organizations, veteran organizations. For I have different programs using a praiser as the basis of that to work through with the groups. And and in churches, I mean there's different types of groups. Like our meditation group is is mostly women. Okay. And so I mean it's on on the surface, because I'm a Vietnam combat vet, you think it people seem to think it's it's for men, but but not at all. Women certainly have burnout as well as men do.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Sure. They gotta put up with all of us men.

SPEAKER_00 27:16

Well, that's enough to do it.

Reach Out And Where To Find Him

SPEAKER_02 27:19

I know. Ask my wife, she'll tell you. So it sounds like you're really off to a good start with this. You know, you've taken your life, you had your moment of of, you know, let's call it redemption and inspiration. I mean, it seems like when you had that breaking point, uh God kind of came in and replaced despair with some purpose, which he seems to do a lot. It always seems that when we get pushed to our our breaking point, you know, I had a breaking point, you know, with cancer almost dying, and I, you know, came to a similar spot. And and, you know, that's one of the reasons I do this podcast is to share my stories and and and help others do the same to you know to be a light out there and and and help people. It sounds like you're just getting off to a good start with this with this program. I'm I'm kind of excited to hear about how it goes. I I make this offer to many of my guests, but I'd certainly like to have you back in a in a while as it's getting a chance to develop to hear about the progress of it all. We've covered a lot of ground. You've had quite a life. Is there a thought that you would like to leave our audience with that kind of reps up as much of the you know the wisdom you've gained in your life and and the messages that you want to share? What would that look like?

SPEAKER_00 28:56

I I believe that uh suffering with with burnout or under severe stress, that going in alone doesn't doesn't make you strong. Doesn't take strength to do that. I think the real strength is it takes to reach out. And but that's what has to be done. You have to muster that strength which is a true strength. The I talk about surrendering to Jesus Christ and then publicly telling people that that's not weakness. That is that is strength. And that anyone with that burnout or severe stress any trauma that you've been going through is to reach out, look look for somebody you can trust whether it be a friend, family, family, or or clergy, whoever it might be, a small group, but please just reach out. And I could be reached through my website, and uh if you want to talk to me, I'd be I'd be more than happy to talk.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

That's fantastic. I I I hope that many of our listeners hear that. And why don't you tell us what your website looks like and and how to find your book?

SPEAKER_00 30:39

So the the website is recoverybyfaith.com. And of course the book's on Amazon, but also What's the title of your book? Burnout God's Recovery Plan.

SPEAKER_02 30:55

Got it.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

And that can be also that can be found on my website. You can go to my website and there's there are links uh to that and to to Amazon and to other bookstores as well.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Fantastic. Well, Keith, this has been, or maybe I'll call you Kevin. Uh this has really been insightful. I I I love the work you're doing. I I am inspired by people who take a you know a life and difficulty and use it to help other people. I think that's clearly one of God's purposes for us. We get handed struggles and and challenges and given an opportunity to overcome them or, like you say, surrender and accept, you know, maybe a better way. And I think when we do that we're we're fulfilling our purpose a little bit better. So I applaud you. You're an inspiration.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Well, thank you. I'm very grateful to you and to your audience for just hearing what I have to say today.

Closing Thoughts And Farewell

SPEAKER_02 32:05

Excellent. Well, I appreciate you being here. And like I said, I'd love to have you back in a little while as this program develops and hear about um all the good work. Remember, for every person that reaches out to you and tells you what an impact you've had, there's probably 50 of them that didn't. So your your impact is always going to be a whole lot larger than you'll ever know about. Excellent. Well, this has been another episode of the Healthy Living Podcast. I'm your host, Joe Grumbine, and I want to thank all of our listeners who make this show possible, and we will see you next time.